So as the wife of a pilot I often hear (and even have said) some of the things I have learned in my last few months of what I call trading places. While dh had been out with a knee replacement I started traveling a lot. Let me say it’s a totally different perspective when you’re the one doing the traveling.
I never understood why dh didn’t always want to hop in a plane and go somewhere on his days off. Of all the things this is the one that flabbergasted me the most. I mean free flights, why not go? I however totally get it now (as does dh from my perspective). We wanted to go somewhere when I had a few weeks off and he kept asking me where. As he had been stuck at home for two months doing not a lot (other than pt) but I was so tired I just didn’t care, I didn’t want to be near and airport or a plane or any of that hassle. I finally told him if we were going somewhere he better plan it because I was incapable. That was a total eye opener; I would still rather drive to Michigan than fly to Denver. I’m trying hard to put my finger on why I don’t like it, I think it’s because I only have a few days off and I don’t want to spend them hanging around an airport trying to get somewhere. So the next time your dh drags his feet about going somewhere I promise it’s a real thing and has nothing to do with you!
Going out with the crew. This tends to be a big issue for a lot of couples. Dh and I have never had a problem with this, but I see a lot of pilots wives post about it. In all honesty (unless you have a party animal for a husband) it’s pretty low key, either dinner in the hotel restaurant or somewhere close by. It’s also the same conversations a lot of the time, where do you live? Where are you based? Do you have kids? All the normal type questions. Then it usually turns to union and work. Also in no way shape or form should this “free time” be construed as replacing time with family, kids, etc. Sure occasionally you do get a crew that goes and does something fun, but you have to remember their still at work, it’s never as fun as if their family would be there instead of the crew. Honestly I’m grateful for anyone who goes out, it helps the time pass and does form a comradery with the crew.
Another big complaint I see is, they get to sleep in and in a hotel room, with no distractions (which I used to think was amazing!). Now I , truly hate hotels (I’m betting most crews do). See here’s what (most) hotels do, they have certain rooms that are “crew rooms” they use every night for crews. This means they don’t really clean them, and I’m talking nice hotels too…Sheraton…Marriott…etc. If the sheets are pretty maybe the change them maybe they don’t’. Also that “quiet” you think your dh is getting, isn’t real. As I sit here and type no less than 3 times has someone knocked on my door, even though the “do not disturb” sign is out. Because if your dh checks out after normal check out hours, their screwed, and if you leave your room always take an id. If you leave after the normal check out time 9 times out of 10 the key won’t work.
So overall that “fun” you think your dh is having isn’t always fun.