Happily Married

So in the last month I have had two different people comment on how "when they get married want to be like us."

The first was at the salon when we were getting our hair cut.  We made the appointment so mine was first then dh's.  Why drive twice?  So in our usual way we sat there and talked to the girl cutting our hair and bantered back and forth with each other, nothing uncommon for us.  That's when she remarked that "when she gets married she wants to be (happy) like us."  I thought it was a nice complement and then forgot about it.

Last week when we were at my dr's office we waited for about 2 hours, yes its a long time but I LOVE my dr.  So we were sitting there chatting and bantering, and playing rock, paper, scissors. The awesome girl that works there, commented that is was "fun to watch us and how happy we were together."  Honestly I still didn't think much about it.

So flash forward to now, I was thinking about a few posts I have seen on fb about being happily married and it got me thinking.  To be honest dh and I are pretty happy, sure the first year or so was a bit of an adjustment, but we survived it and learned from it.  Just as we survived him working at his last airline and never being home and working all the time, even when he was off.

Being happily married isn't about living in some happy land with prince charming, and if you think thats what it means then you won't be happily married.  Sure, sure when you first get engaged/start dating it will seem like all fairtales and unicorns and you will think thats what it will be like when you are married.  News Flash; it won't.  There will be times when you don't feel appreciated, and even though you cleaned the house your husband comes home and re-cleans the house.  There will be times you give him a list of things to do, only to come home and find he hasn't done any of them, or it takes him 3x as long to do something as it should.  You may disagree on how to do a project, big hint don't do them together!  The list goes on about little things that can and will drive you crazy if you let them.

But if you have married your best friend it's not all bad. Honestly dh and I hardly ever really fight, sure we might disagree on something but its usually minor.  I can't remember the last time I was super pissed off at dh, it clearly wasn't important enough to remember.  Dh and I honestly don't have a ton in common. To start with dh is a clean freak and bordering on OCD, which is absolutely what I want in pilot someone who is organized.  Is it what I want in a husband?  Well its what I got; where as I am absolutely not a clean freak, definitely disorganized would probably categorize me. I can (almost) always find things but they aren't always in a "logical" (according to dh) place.  Dh is also super mechanical minded where as I think airplanes (and cars) run by pfm (pure fucking magic).  We would definitely be what you would call "opposites attract."  As the years have gone by though we've grown to like (or tolerate) each others hobbies, one of my favorite shows is Top Gear, this would not have happened 10 years ago.  Dh also tries to understand and help with the horses.  Ever relationship is give and take.

 My best advice is to ask yourself; Will you be mad about X issue next week? Next month?  If your answer is no then it's now worth arguing about.

Air France Flight 447

So in light of the article in Vanity Fair that recently came out I thought I would post about it. Seems like it's been a long time (5 years!) since it happened, but I was very happy to see this article, mostly because of how good I thought it was. Now I know you non-aviation people probably won't read a 9 page article on a plane crash, and that's ok, but if you do read one, read this one.

Coming from a standpoint of having this same exact situation happen to dh (in a different plane, and during a clear day) I find this crash fascinating, and lucky for me dh has his masters in Human factors and safety in aviation, so he finds it just as interesting. He also hates the airbus that he now flies, BUT he knows how important it is to know about scenarios like this, the more you know the better off you are.

 That's really what this article is about in a sense and is also why I like it, its extremely unfortunate that this happened, but the best thing we can do is learn from it. If nothing else this crash may help prevent another. I am sure that is of little consolation to the people who lost loved ones on the flight, but hopefully they could find comfort in knowing that it may help prevent another crash.

 My goal with this blog is not to break down the article to you, nor will I (or my dh) EVER Monday night quarter back a deceased crews decision. I know this temptation is there for a lot of people, but just remember you have NO idea what it was like, nor do you have any idea how you would react. You might think on this won't happen to me, or I would do this instead, but in the heat of the moment you really have no idea what you would do. Never Ever walk on a dead pilots grave. Instead use this as a learning process, so if it does happen to you, you are prepared.

Network, Network, Network.

So it's recently been a conversation on Facebook as well as in our personal life so I figured I'd talk about it. Networking.  You don't know how many people I see say "My husband has applied everywhere and no one is calling, he hasn't gone to job fairs and doesn't  have letters from anyone, and I don't know why no one is calling him."

While HR does somewhat run the show these days at airlines networking is still key.  We are proof of that.  When dh decided last summer that he needed to move on from his job,  he had 2 interviews in 3 months of when he decided to leave (at majors).  This is ALL because of networking, and I don't mean networking as in cold calling people you met 4 years ago for 10 minutes.  The folks that helped dh out were people we have know for at least 2+ years (and in one case 6 years).  These guys (and their wives) are our friends.  When we met them years ago our thought wasn't "how can they help us"  it was "hey these guys are cool and fun to hang out with, and we have a lot in common."  So once these guys heard dh was looking for a new job they were both happy to help out, without us even asking.  This is how networking is supposed to work.  Now we meet up with these guys every year in Vegas for Jetcareers

A tale of two Pilots

So now it's time for a real life example of networking.  We have a good friend named Dave (name changed of course) Dave and dh were in the same new hire class 14 year ago at their regional.  That's right 14 years ago.  Through the years Dave and dh have stayed in touch, we even stayed at Dave's house when I had surgery and dh used Dave's house as a crash pad.  Dave also stayed at our house on Christmas one year on a long layover.   Dave is still currently at his regional and dh want to help him out, so he takes Dave's resume to HR at his current company and Dave helped himself by going to a job fair.  Sure enough Dave now has an interview at dh's current company.

We also know a pilot named Bob (again not real name) Bob was an FO at dh's regional.  We liked Bob, Bob was fun to hang out with, we even met up for dinner a few times.  But Bob drifted off and we hadn't heard from him in 2 years.  A few days ago we got a text from Bob, Bob wanted to know if dh could help him get a job.....at the airline dh left last year.  Once we nicely told Bob he wasn't there anymore we haven't heard from him again.  Now we like Bob, but this isn't the best way to network.

So I wish everyone well in moving on, but keep in mind that networking is really important!

*Yes there will always be those few people who make it somewhere without knowing anyone, but Networking is making your own luck!

New Reality

                             The new reality in this case not as pretty as this pic.






I don't come on here often and have a pity party (well sometimes I do about dhs job) but I don't often have a pity party about my health problems.  I had someone the other day tell me I have a good attitude about it.  My response was "Thank you, but having a bad attitude won't change anything."  To be fair I am completely pessimistic about a lot of things, but don't often talk about my health problems, in my book, it is what it is and I can't really change it, so why complain to everyone about it.

In my book I figure I wake up about 50-60% feeling like crap, about half the time I work out of it without taking anything, the rest of the time is better living through chemistry.  And of those times about 2-4 times a year better living through chemistry doesn't work and I end up in the ER.  As for my list of ailments they include: endometroisis, crohns, kidney issues, migraines, and an assortment of random issues: ie: torn cartilage in my hip.

My most recent bout was with my not always happy right kidney, but thanks to better living through chemistry my recovery from surgery and hospital stay last week hasn't been awful until today.  Thanks to some new bogus government rule any narcotic prescription has to be signed and actually walked into a pharmacy, you can't call it in or fax it, or even use pre-authorized refills, which is where I ran into trouble today.  You see I have a refill of vicodine since I have run out from surgery, and since my dh doesn't like to see me flop on the couch like a dead fish in pain I went to get it filled.  No joy.  No way to fill thanks to the stupid new government rule.

Which leaves me in a quandary, I've run out pills my dr prescribed for me after my surgery, and I can't fly to Houston to get another one, what to do?  Emergency Room of course.  Now don't get me wrong I know an ER Room is not for this purpose but because of these new restrictions that's exactly what its come too.

For me (and many others) this is a waste of resources, I don't want to pay to go to the ER to get a refill for something that is legitimate and has already been authorized by my dr.  The folks in the ER don't want this kind of paperwork bullshit because they have much bigger problems to deal with, but none the less that is what it has come to.

Sorry for the rant and the pity party but this really pisses me off.

Surgery....When Married to a Pilot

                                                                     Pre-op!

So surgery is never fun, ask me how I know ....I've had at least 10.  But being married to a pilot adds an extra layer of "fun" to surgery.  To start with even trying to plan sugery is a pain, remember we don't know his schedule until about a week before the month starts!  We were lucky in a sense dh had the day of my suregery off and the day after my surgery off, but as history has shown us when I have kidney surgery I usually end up in the hosptial for about 3 days afer surgery, even though the insurance considers it a "day surgery."

So once we got dh's schedule we discovered he had a four day trip 2 days after my surgery, not good.  To add more complications my surgery was out of state.  So we started the FMLA process which worked really well, dh could use his sick time to drop the one trip and all would be well.  What happened was even better! He managed to move that trip so no FMLA was needed, as a side note the process for FMLA worked great, but it takes a lot of time to set everything up, probably about a month.

So I was all set for surgery, and dh even had the next 10 days off!  This was such a much better deal than the last time I had kidney surgery, dh basically dumped me at the emergency room the day after surgery when I super sick and went to work. His former carrier was awful about time off and never had enough reserves/coverage to be able to drop anything, even a valid sick call would land you a carpet dance, it was bad.  So this time was like a breath of fresh air, he dropped what he needed and no problem!

Surgery was about what we expected, and recovery took about the same amount of time as last time, but it was so much better this time staying in the hospital since dh was there with me.  Not much is lonelier than staying in the hospital by yourself because your dh is at work.

Also a big shout out to my AWESOME mom who drove to TX during my first kidney surgery when dh couldn't stay, and this year took care of our herd while I went to TX for surgery, Best.Mom.Ever!!!