Friday, October 24, 2014
So in the last month I have had two different people comment on how "when they get married want to be like us."
The first was at the salon when we were getting our hair cut. We made the appointment so mine was first then dh's. Why drive twice? So in our usual way we sat there and talked to the girl cutting our hair and bantered back and forth with each other, nothing uncommon for us. That's when she remarked that "when she gets married she wants to be (happy) like us." I thought it was a nice complement and then forgot about it.
Last week when we were at my dr's office we waited for about 2 hours, yes its a long time but I LOVE my dr. So we were sitting there chatting and bantering, and playing rock, paper, scissors. The awesome girl that works there, commented that is was "fun to watch us and how happy we were together." Honestly I still didn't think much about it.
So flash forward to now, I was thinking about a few posts I have seen on fb about being happily married and it got me thinking. To be honest dh and I are pretty happy, sure the first year or so was a bit of an adjustment, but we survived it and learned from it. Just as we survived him working at his last airline and never being home and working all the time, even when he was off.
Being happily married isn't about living in some happy land with prince charming, and if you think thats what it means then you won't be happily married. Sure, sure when you first get engaged/start dating it will seem like all fairtales and unicorns and you will think thats what it will be like when you are married. News Flash; it won't. There will be times when you don't feel appreciated, and even though you cleaned the house your husband comes home and re-cleans the house. There will be times you give him a list of things to do, only to come home and find he hasn't done any of them, or it takes him 3x as long to do something as it should. You may disagree on how to do a project, big hint don't do them together! The list goes on about little things that can and will drive you crazy if you let them.
But if you have married your best friend it's not all bad. Honestly dh and I hardly ever really fight, sure we might disagree on something but its usually minor. I can't remember the last time I was super pissed off at dh, it clearly wasn't important enough to remember. Dh and I honestly don't have a ton in common. To start with dh is a clean freak and bordering on OCD, which is absolutely what I want in pilot someone who is organized. Is it what I want in a husband? Well its what I got; where as I am absolutely not a clean freak, definitely disorganized would probably categorize me. I can (almost) always find things but they aren't always in a "logical" (according to dh) place. Dh is also super mechanical minded where as I think airplanes (and cars) run by pfm (pure fucking magic). We would definitely be what you would call "opposites attract." As the years have gone by though we've grown to like (or tolerate) each others hobbies, one of my favorite shows is Top Gear, this would not have happened 10 years ago. Dh also tries to understand and help with the horses. Ever relationship is give and take.
My best advice is to ask yourself; Will you be mad about X issue next week? Next month? If your answer is no then it's now worth arguing about.