Crazy Ass Christmas...
T'was the trip before Christmas and all through the house
everyone was stirring perhaps even a mouse.
The truck had been packed with less than a care
in the hopes that I would soon get the hell outta there.
The animals were snuggled all safe in the back
while visions of sugar plums danced while they yacked.
While me in the front along with puma the cat
had just settled down to drive forever at that.
When out on the road there was such a shudder
I turned back home before the truck went a flutter.
Back to the computer I ran in a dash
hoping to book tickets that wouldn't cost me much cash.
Success with free tickets, send me away
only to turn out at the airport I must stay.
And to what did my tired ass eyes appear?
the snow of the century that all airport passengers fear.
When I spy a poor old F9 driver so sad and quick
I knew in a moment he must work for the "Revered St Dick."
More rapid than a hare he said they went missed 4 times
and this will no doubt cost you another dime.
On Delta on Airways, American, and Continental
and whoever we could ride on without being judgmental.
Into the line you must rush
to see how to get out of all this fuss.
So I call my pilot who flies in the sky
to shout about what is happening and why.
Up to the front of the line I flew
to find out my ticket was book on American anew.
Then in a twinkling I heard on my phone
my husband calling to let it be known.
That I would be staying the night in a hotel,
because the roads to my house had closed...what hell!
I schlepped all my bags, boxes, and cat
onto the hotel with all of my crap.
In the morning I got free breakfast for my trouble,
and back to the airport where American charged me double.
By the time I arrived in Chicago I'm not merry
and want to beat the shit out of the Christmas fairy.
Little did I realize my fun was just beginning
back to the airport I drove to pick up my husband who was grinning.
Two days I got to see my husband before
he flew off to Ft Lauderdale for work once more.
Then quick as flash back to the airport I drove to get him
and on Christmas Eve at midnight by now I'm quite grim.
But my fun was not over, because I got sick myself
what better to visit an ER on Christmas day...when else?
After receiving two shots which I dread
the rest of the day passed in my happy floaty head.
Lucky for me I had a few days to shirk
before following John to Ft. Lauderdale for work.
Could barely stay awake till midnight on New Year's Eve
then my one day at the beach it was 30 I was peeved!
Then back to ORD I went like a missile
and waited for John to appear looking official.
The next morning again to the airport for our O'Dark thirty flight
And we finally made it back home before midnight!